thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
