careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
