Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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