I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
