ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize