I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
