So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
