Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize