If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
