They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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