I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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