I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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