how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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