Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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