I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
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My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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