Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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