i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
