I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
