You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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