Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
