My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
