and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
