that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
