she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize