Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
