Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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