haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
