that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
