its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
