you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
