One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
