i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
