So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
