Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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