no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
did you just send me my own nude
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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