Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize