The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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