I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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