would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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