roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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