you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Boobs speak an international language.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
