billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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