Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize