Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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