Non-Jews are for practice
one two three fourrrrnication!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
