i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
