dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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