sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
