I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
