I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
