3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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