she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
