Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
pray to the hookup gods
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
