Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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