called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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