I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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