I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm getting married
To pizza
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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