i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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