I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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