Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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