One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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