We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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